Wonderful post - and so timely today. I am saving this one for later reminder.
Acceptance has been a big struggle for me. I find myself cycling through worry, doubt, victim, righteous anger, and then acceptance on a regular basis...sometimes daily. It comes out when I get stressed or feel overwhelmed and how easy it is to go back to that place! I can see why alcoholics create the scenarios they do - keeps the blame on someone (everyone) else - how handy that is. Acceptance to me also means taking responsibility for fixing it, and I mean that by either living through the emotions, or physically fixing whatever is the problem (confrontation, action, etc.) Once I own it, I have to do something about it, and then I have to sustain that choice, regardless of the outcome.
I made the choice to remain separated indefinitely; to go buy my own house and move on with my life in the direction I know it was meant to be lived. I have found with this choice, I am not "fighting" life. It is all falling into place on its own. I am just enjoying the ride! I set out with this goal in mind, and everything just worked. I don't fight my life anymore. When I get re-involved with the RAH, things start to become a fight again. That has been a great eye-opener for me lately. The difference between the two paths. Someone once told me relationships that are healthy won't be such a fight to happen; they just work.
Thanks, tjp for sharing!