So tired of wanting to be sober...
This is so annoying to me. The WANT to be sober is definitely in me. It sticks around for a couple days and then seriously just fades away like day into night. I did so good for nineteen days straight, actually obsessing about my sobriety, and then POOF! It vanished in one Friday night. Ever since I fell off the wagon from my nineteen day ride, I've been good for a couple days here, three days there and then the following day I just let my sobriety obsession go and drink a few beers.
I am feeling such guilt about this. On one hand I want a beer or two SO BADLY but on the other hand I ask myself why I want it.
The only thing I'm glad about when it comes to my recent drinking spurts is that I limit my intake to about five beers throughout the night opposed to the old habit of about 12 beers and a few shots of whiskey in about three hours and then black out and pass out.
I just want to get sober for good but am fighting with myself!