My husband thinks there nothing wrong ... am in the bed room and my husband is in the living room playing his games , talking to a friend on x box .
I dont want to say anything and spoil his happy mood and his fun
I'll be fine just my mind is ****** at the moment and its thinking a way of me dying
I have my 16 year old niece and her boyfriend here but there still sleeping
i cant even slit my wrists right ...i dont cut deep enough and there is the pain as well.
I cant OD because my husband now has all the pills some where else were i cant get them
what other options do i have ?
nothing i can do with out my husband noticing am doing something
Maybe i can walk out the house go to the train station and jump the lines
I dream about doing that at night my voices tell me to go and do it
I can hear the trains the noise of them going over the tracks
I will just lay there ready for death to come
He would notice me leave ...come after me ...tell me to come home
I should get ready to go ... maybe he wont notice this time
