Jil, What you are feeling is perfectly normal especially in early sobriety. It seems most us alcoholics remember the aspects of drinking that we derived pleasure out of and forget the horrors that ensued after consumption. It gets easier with time, I found I had to find other outlets that gave me pleasure. Running seemed to be something that suited me. You should pursue something with the same passion you did the drink. Some people use aa..It is a religious program for sure. A bit off from mainstream religion but religious non the less. The key to sobriety for me is always wanting to be sober more than I want to drink. Stay strong.