Oh! Kjell!,
Your post brought up many feelings, mostly centered about expectations.
Yes, we can be harder on ourselves than anybody. Maybe because people other than ourselves, don't know our potential, yet we know we have not lived up to our potential, and are not living up to it.
Sometimes people use their potential to climb the wrong ladder (drink the most, be the funniest, or even progress in the wrong career). Most of us are not Saints. We can be worried about all of our mistakes, and our direction, or which ladder we are on.
The ladder to sobriety is a must, to give ourselves enough credit to even think we know the proper direction to place our efforts, and focus our lives. Let's all be proud of ourselves, and our tired, stumbling feet. We will get there.