Smoking Pot is universally not being in recovery, but I know a lot of sober alcohlics who do this, and my RAH is enraged by it. He says he always wants to call them out, and to judge but that even that is frowned upon in his group of friends.
I was not going to weigh in on this reading the list thing, as it is touchy for me.
I searched my RAH phone after he came out of rehab.a lot.
I had been cheated on, lied to, there was so much that went on.
I did find things that were current things that made me feel unsafe. He had had contact with an old "friend " who had been an enabling, doting female drinkiing buddy. She was on a list of taboo people and one that I had a boundary about him contacting.
I do not ever feel bad about looking through his phone because only 2 times did I NOT find something that I felt was information that I deserved to know in order to act in good concsience for my own emotional safety.
When someone lies and tricks and betrays you, and then comes back to the relationship, I feel that part of that recovery of the relationship has to be a level of transparency.
Now, if he had done things that you knew about, and he is now doing things that are not within your boundary, then I feel like if you found evidence of CURRENT betrayal, or lies, etc...then that makes sense...
But it sounds like this is stuff that he is trying to leave behind.
smoking pot may be a lesser evil to him, or a benign way of avoiding reality, but he is still avoiding reality.
But, if my RAH had done 90 in 90, I would have jumped for joy.
I think, to a certain degree, you may need to hold your tongue until you watch his current actions long enough to trust him.
He may come clean, he may not. But you might damage his trust by bringing it up.
JMO. keep us posted.