Originally Posted by
Cyranoak 
You all seem like intelligent women. What does it say about the men you have chosen as significant others that they are threatened by Alanon and you have to hide your participation on SR?
If, after answering this question you continue to stay with these men, what does it say about your decision-making process in this regard? In what world is this even nominally normal? I may not know either, but I know healthy people don't put up with this **** for one damn second.
I know it's not easy. Take care,
Cyranoak
Ouch! Damn, that was brutal, Cyranoak. From what I experience and what I read here, most of us didn't know what we were choosing when we chose it. I can honestly say my RAH treated me very, very well until I encroached on his freedom to drink.
Is this normal? First of all, define normal. I thought I knew normal. I thought I was a healthy person. I thought I was relationship material. Then I got involved with an alcoholic. And it has shaken me to the very core.
Intelligent? Yes, I am - highly educated to boot. But I was naive to a con artist addict. I didn't see it coming. I actually believed he would not screw me on the tax return. I actually believed he was supportive of my participation in Al-Anon. I believed he was smart enough to go to the damn internet and look Al-Anon up. What I know today is that he is smart enough, but not interested. Because he can't let go of the blame and denial and take some personal responsibility like big boys do.
Many people here have families, children with these people. And many of us are confused about the disease concept versus expecting to be treated well concept. And many of us are torn between vows we took and meant in front of our God, and running far far away from the craziness that is addiction.
I am lucky; I did leave and can afford to support myself and my kids. I am 17 days away from closing on my own house. I have divorce papers drawn and ready for filing.
But underneath that is a girl, who just loved a boy, and got my heart broken. And that just bites.