Originally Posted by
mum22cuties 
I was very clear that if he was serious about stopping drinking that he needs to stop now and that just cutting back would not be suffiicient... I have been very clear that in order to reconcile he would need to quit drinking completely... He says he has cut back on drinking and has been respecting the boundaries that I have set.
Hi Mum,
From one boundary-setter to another, hugs to you. I've been here, although not with marriage and kids in the picture, but the boundary thing. You're boundary is that he quit drinking. Cutting back is not enough. Quit completely. How can he only be cutting back on drinking, and respecting your boundaries at the same time?
My ABF (i'm in the process of moving out now) and I have gone through the cutting back thing before. I know now that him "cutting back" was a way of temporarily pacifying me because he just wasn't ready to quit yet. Still to this day won't admit he has a problem.
Maybe he doesn't have a drinking problem. But I know I have a problem with his drinking, and the decisions he makes because of it (also has no license), and that discomfort is enough of a reason for me to leave. There is nothing I can do for him as far as support, but get out of the way and let him live his life how he sees fit.
Writing this is more theraputic for me right now, thank you for posting.
:ghug3