Yup, I'm in agreement, it doesn't matter how he phrases it or what he calls it, it is in his commitment to sobriety. I don't think relapse is caused by 'having the wrong word used'. It is more complicated and why wait for the other shoe to drop? That is no way to live girlfriend!
If you envision a future with him then it is good to be realistic but worrying over something that hasn't happened is wasted energy. Energy you could place on doing something for yourself. Also, how are you able to enjoy time with him if you are constantly worried he will mess up? And if you are projecting that hopeless feeling onto him, that can't be a good thing either.
The thing is, we can say we know that their drinking, recovery, etc have nothing to do with us but truly believing that takes time and is a process. Bottom line, our worries and anxiety are really only harming ourselves and taking up wasted space.
Stay in the moment. I get so sucked into my own worries and head that I am missing the nice things in the moment I could be experiencing. There is a great sticky somewhere on SR about worrying. I printed it and read it over and over. Helped me quite a bit.
I also write my worries and fears out in detail in a journal and it really does help me get to a better space. Also, try to focus on other things besides the bf, his disease, recovery, etc. You gotta detach from time to time to gain perspective. I see that as a mental detachment for me. I need to compartmentalize this part of my life or it bleeds into other things needing my attention.