Originally Posted by
LaTeeDa 
The only way he has any power over you is if you give it to him. I don't think you realize how much power you have.
No, you're right. It doesn't
feel like I have any power in this situation at all. Which logically, I know is not the case. I *know*, but forget. And I definitely don't feel like I've been able to take any of my power back; he still scares the cr-p out of me and I still feel like I have to bow to his wishes.
But, the court order
is to help me and help protect DS.
When the judge was talking about what the court needed to consider when setting up visitation, XAH kept interrupting him saying "Yeah, I'll work with her. Whatever she wants." The judge finally held up his hand and said "No. I'm setting it down. If you're able to reach a point where you can negotiate changes without intimidation, manipulation or scaring her, you can negotiate changes. But at any time, either of you will be able to say to the other, 'This isn't working. We're just going to do what Judge S said.'"
I have a CD of the court hearing. Maybe I should extract that section of the recording and play it over and over through the day; kind of a subliminal message....