Originally Posted by
theuncertainty 
I hate him. I hate that I let myself be knocked off balance over and over and over again and I don't know how to stop it. I don't know how to plant my feet to catch the hits without falling over.
The only way he has any power over you is if you give it to him. I don't think you realize how much power you have.
YOU are the custodial parent. YOU have a visitation schedule agreed upon and formalized in a COURT ORDER. If HE (they) want to request a change to accommodate THEIR schedule, they can ask. YOU can agree to their request, or not, depending whether it works for YOU or not. Otherwise, the COURT ORDER applies. That's it.
You have no obligation to plan or arrange your life around theirs. Make your plans based on the COURT ORDER. If HE (they) flake out on their obligation, have a back up plan (or several) for a fun weekend with your son.
L