Just tossing another perspective into the fray here....
it was mentioned that 'throwing away' a past history and life together...
there's no such thing.
the past is just that - PAST.
it's not here.
it never will be here again.
now, he can do things
that makes those 'great' memories of the 'past'
awful to look back on
and WE can do things
that turn what were actually horrible events
into 'fond' memories.
both are illusion.
but the past if one thing that no one can take away from us.
ever.
And finally -
just because a handful of good events
accumulated in a decade or so of miserable
or terrified
years
doesn't mean we owe anyone the rest of our lives in misery
to pay for it.
if it's over
it's paid for.
no balance due.
taking stock is a powerful thing
and I don't know if we can ever get enough
but taking stock
and not lifting the illusion
that surrounds the event
especially if it's still occurring
is not productive.
just another opinion from over here outside the box.