Well I just let my Husband go to as many meetings as he wanted for 20 years and it came back later and bit me in the butt so to speak. Having said that, I think for the first 90 days it is extremely important that the alcoholic get in as many meetings as possible. You can talk to him about you needs but at this point his needs should come first. He is sicker than you and you have so much to gain forn his staying sober. after 90 days though, he needs to compromise. I highly recomend you go with him to some open AA meetings. Stay atuned to his recovery as well as yours. Don't make the mistake of each of you working so hard on your individual recovery, your relationship suffers. My children were 4 and 7 at the time but I was not working so I was able to make some alanon meetings. Although after my husband stayed sober awhile I cut back. dax