I'm sorry for your loss Steve. Sending support your way. When I lost my best friend it was devastating to me. I still feel the loss. I believe people are put into your life for a reason. It wasn't a mistake. You learn and grow from this person. If they are taken away, you live your life from the lessons you learned from them. Your buddy will always be with you Steve. He's wanting you to live your life the best way you know how. Remember his love, his lessons, and his friendship.
I also know the feelings of sadness are immense.
Unfortunately you will have to feel this. Blocking out these feelings by drinking will only prolong them. I'm sure you know this. I understand the wanting to drink, but knowing you won't. You just want the pain to go away.
Reach out to the people you love. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
:ghug3