Yes Midwestman, we do appear to share the experience of having a front row seat watching vodka destroy our beautiful sweet women. Baffling and powerful, and apparently unstoppable. My wife had a fantastic 2+ years of sobriety after a 38 day hospital stay in 2008, I thought she "got it" and we would live happily ever after. Then one day she drank, and every day thereafter, and we're all the way off a cliff again.
I have been haunted by a post on here somewhere, someone said, "I wish I would have been more thankful and appreciative for each and every day of sobriety." I did start to take things for granted -- I thought we crossed some kind of finish line. There is NO FINISH LINE for anyone married to an A.
It am sad. This divorce is going to be SO hard because she doesn't want it, doesn't even want to talk about it right now, even after 9 weeks apart. She's drunk every time I see her. More denial than ever, very frustrating. I hope all of this will start to feel better after we are divorced, maybe she can go on with her life and someone else can worry about her instead of me.
Sometime I wish I could hit fast-forward.
Blessings!