UPDATE:
So, yesterday, AW asked me about how quickly I could get the money for rehab.
(Brief side note: We live pretty much paycheck to paycheck. What we owe on the house is what it's worth. Paid down most of the credit cards and trying to get out of debt. About 6 months ago, I left a job where I rolled out my 401(k) into an IRA. My plan was to use the IRA as necessary as I get my business underway - so the money for rehab comes from an IRA. Rehab is probably about 5% of the IRA funds as of this date. Since the money is my IRA, I'm the one who has to withdraw it).
I asked: did you read my email?
She said: what email? (ok, aside: her emails get pushed to her telephone).
I said: getting the funds isn't the issue. I can go to the bank and, in a few minutes, the money will be in the account.
Today, I get this text from her:
"Can I get money by tomorrow? Can't move on till I have deposit [this is a FOR PROFIT recovery center]. Want to get analysis done tomorrow and it will take at least 2hrs after work."
I wrote back: "Did you even read my email?"
AW: "I'm doing this with or without your money."
Me: "That didn't answer my question"
AW: "Yeah read it. You didn't answer my question either. I need to know if I need to talk to my parents. Wanna get this [rehab] going. Taking meds now [left over from last rehab effort], but I don't have many left."
Me: "U can have the money IF you are committed to doing this for you, NOT because your are in a legal jam. Besides being pissed off at me, I'm not sure what YOU have done to get better. Hell, I was the one who found this program. All you had to do was call. You don't even use the word "alcoholic." So convince me or call your parents.
AW: "I don't understand what I need to convince you, but I'm going tomorrow [to rehab] and hopefully I'll be able to pay. Not gonna beg. You are the one that is pissed at me. And I have talked to counselor in person 3 times this week plus I've been taking naltrexone since Friday [day after her arrest for DWI] and I'm sober since. Oh, btw, thanks for looking up [rehab place] on internet. Don't tell me I haven't done anything."
Honestly, I will say that I don't know what she CAN do to convince me that she's committed to getting sober.
For me, there's just alarm bells going off in my chest/gut that tell me this isn't a "real effort." I just do not FEEL that's it's a real effort.
Not sure what she can do to help me get over that feeling - I just know that the way she's being almost pissy towards me isn't doing it.
Maybe my "gut" is wrong. But, I don't think I should ignore it.