Sounds like you have some of the concepts down and perhaps you're learning how to detach from her alcoholism.
Based on your story, do you see how anything you do, you will be wrong?
You're not the running away type? Bah. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm a big man with a big man personality. My little AW has managed to shred me to damn near nothing. I wasn't a running man. I like challenges and I love to work hard. But if I could do it over again, I'd be in top gear going the other direction.
Now I have a child and a mortgage and the challenges are far bigger than her getting upset because she can't not drink...