So... If I understand correctly.
Ignore the drinking, if I want to be involved with her. Compartmentalize it, and do nothing - positive or negative? If she drinks, just move on with my own life.
Relate to her as a person, as a human with love and affection unrelated to the drinking and hope she finds her way?
I still have no intention of keeping beer or wine in the house. Nor will I drink. I don't do it for her, i do it for me. I don't enjoy something that she is denied and causes so many problems. And, frankly, i lost 15 lbs!
And in response to Eddie... I am still debating option 1 and 2. She never gets mean or angry. It is not a horrible existence. The part that causes me pain is that she does not want to drink - to be dependant, then she does and then she is miserable with herself and i need to watch the pain.