Thank you so much for your replies, just someone responding and caring made me cry. I am so emotional about all of this. I go from hope, to anger, to dispair. I just know I am making myself crazy trying to help her, talk to her, change her. And I have come to realize that Nothing I do will make a difference. She has to want to do this.
I will try to find an Al anon meeting in my area. Watching her destroy all the wonderful things she has in her life is so hard. She is so beautiful, and so smart. She is a kind, caring person, when she is sober. She says she won't drink, she says she will go to AA, she says, and says and says, and then she drinks. Bad things happen when she drinks. I wish I could throw her in treatment, but I can't even do that. She will just check herself out. I have thought about an intervention, but by the time she got out, she will have lost everything, her house, her business, her kids. She would have no income or money to pay for treatment, or her mortages if she is gone for months. Of course she is going to lose it anyway, it will just take alittle longer.
But I have to remember that it is not my problem. Her little girls, they are 7 and 4, are who I am trying to concentrate on now, I love them so much. Her ex husband and I are doing all that we can to make sure they are ok. We do get along really well. He still loves my daughter, but just had to distance himself from her. I can't blame him.
I need to stop making excuses for her, lying for her, telling people that she is fine. So, I just let happen what will happen? Don't do anything? Just let it go, right?