Originally Posted by
Mightyqueen801 
Just wanted to throw something in here, re divorce. I divorced my AH. It was painful getting through it, but once the divorce was over, it's like a light came on that has never gone out again. It was the right decision for me--he was never serious about recovering, just went through the motions because of the restraining order, and ten years later he's still a drunk.
I'm not telling anyone here to divorce--each person must make that decision for herself. However, one of the biggest obstacles to my own freedom was that I felt I would be a loser if I got a divorce--that it would be failing, giving up, and I felt ashamed for that.
If that's you--if you really know deep down that your relationship is hopeless but feel as if ending it would be a failure and shame on your part, try to rethink that. Admitting that it cannot be fixed is not shameful. Wasting more time is worse.
A month ago I made my decision that I was DONE. We had gone out of state and were visiting his parents. It was also my birthday week. His parents were nice enough to treat us to a dinner & free babysitting. I never get a night out so it was a real treat. Needless to say dh showed up drunk to dinner & once again ruined my night. The next night I caught him red handed swigging from the vodka bottle in his dad's liquor cabinet. I called him out in front of his family. I had done it before on 3 seperate occassion but basically told them this time that it wasn't just a drinking problem, that he was an alcholic and if he didn't get help I was leaving him. It lead to a pretty intense 24 hours, but also to him finally admitting he was infact an alcoholic (something he had denied for years) and his parents FINALLY got on board with giving us their support. I vowed to myself that night that HIS next drink was MY last drink.
I am committed to supporting him through his recovery if he sticks with it. This is his 1st time admitting and accepting he has a problem and seeking help. I feel that he deserves this one chance. But I have given his active alcoholism all I can give. If he is serious about getting better I will stay with him. But that is all he gets is this one chance. I can't emotionally go through the hell I went through again, nor will I subject my children (who are just getting to an age where they understand what is going on) to it. This is my personal choice based on my situation. I just can't see going down this same road repeatedly. One chance. Get it together or get out.