I never married the guy, but I still let it affect me financially.
$25,000 Transferred from my bank to XABF's to help cover his "bills"
$25,000 Credit Card debt
$10,000 Savings I used to have
$50,000 Estimate of how much I spent out of my bank account on things he decided we have to have that I really didn't want (I am 100% certain this is on the low end)
Soooo... I would have the equivalent of at least $100,000 in savings/credit limit right now ($85k in savings), and that's just after three and a half years with him.
And that's ignoring all the loans out of my retirement plan used to bail him out repeatedly.
I'm currently paying down the credit card debts, getting my bills down.
For my recovery I am spending a little over $500 per month, and most of that is my car payment. (I finally decided I deserved something new, and I am counting my car as part of my recovery, because it is a giant change for me from my poor rust bucket. The rest can be split between my therapist, the books I buy periodically, cat food, my $1 for Al-Anon, and a budget to do something fun of varying expense every weekend).
This is a change from over $500 per week on average with XABF.
(I am not counting my rent in either one, because the apartment was always mine, even when he moved himself in he was never added to the paperwork.)