HHH- When I finally told a few friends that my H was an A it was freeing. I too was the downer and never wanted to go out with friends or always felt that I was complaining... Then I told 2 close friends the truth and I feel like a burden has been lifted. I don't even talk to them about my H's antics anymore-- but knowing that they know and that it is not this hidden secret has been good for me...