Originally Posted by
Sheneedshelp 
My oldest daughter Amber is 18. She was a great kid when she was younger 4.0, always did the right thing, volunteered, she's absolutely gorgeous. I couldn't have asked for a better daughter. As a mom I felt proud of my parenting that I raised such a good daughter. Her hard work paid off she got accepted into one of the best colleges in the area.
Where can I start
I can relate. My oldest daughter was also the absolute perfect kid - so delightful, personable, smart and well-behaved. She is also quite beautiful, with piercing icy blue eyes. I have told myself over the years that beauty isn't what matters, but the truth is that we do take pride in our children - as if we had anything to do with it - in this regard.
I quote the above and wrote that because I think that we take it
very personally when our "good" kids start to go "bad". If your girl has alcoholism - and it certainly would seem to be the case - this is NOT your fault, and it is NOT a reflection on you. Just as being born with good looks isn't something that
you did well as a parent.
My daughter is now a senior in college, and has been saying "it's what college kids do" and I wonder why lie she will tell herself once she graduates. But it's hers to question.
"Where can I start" is best answered by attending al-anon, and also keep with us here on this board. We will help you when you feel despair and don't know what to do next. Your daughter is simply where she is at this point in her problem. She will come out of the lie when it is time, and not much you do will affect that timing. Just love her and let her know that you're there for her when that time does arrive.
