Welcome! Im glad you reached out for help. I tried on my own and it didnt work. This forum in conjuntion with AA has been my saving grace. Dont rule out anything (except alcohol) right now. Imagine going to the doctor and being told you are in the 4th stages of cancer. You would try anything, anywhere, anyhow to save your life. Right? We dont see it but alcohol will kill us. Try anything my friend! In my meeting yesterday a regular wasnt there. Her mother died and she had to put her in the ground on Friday. The daughter was active in AA but AA wasnt "for" the mom. The daughter is happy healthy and recovering. Look where the mom is.