"Casual drink"...who was i kidding?
For some reason since joining this site has it made me actully realise i have a problem with drink. I always knew drugs was a problem. I always knew that my pre-drinking/medicating was a problem too, but never to the extent it is.
With drink i have gotten some insight into where it may lead me, and its where im heading. I really dont want to go there as i have enough on my plate at the present and i certainly do not want to add to that.
I think i have to reconsider my whole life style and start fresh. I can only be heading down a road that will lead me to no good. I need to do a u-turn and return to a time i was happy.
If i were not to be suffering from depression, anxities, fears or obsessions, i think i would be strong enough to give up drinking but because i suffer from all those, drink is my escape route.
I have tried other routes and will continue to keep trying. I hope that one day i can turn around and say "no im not drinking tonight, but yes i am coming out", to my friends. It seems like a million miles away. Honestly i do not want to stop drinking but i feel that i have to, to 1) better my MH and 2) better my quality of life ...
Thanks all for the replies...