Not sure how to title this except to just say it...I lost my son
I haven't been on this forum for a couple of weeks. I wanted to check in and let you all know the horrifying news. My son passed away on March 6th. He died in his sleep here at home. We don't know the cause of death yet. It will take up to 90 days for the toxicology report. But it appears to be possibly substance related. We don't know for sure, but due to past history, it is what we suspect naturally. All we know for sure is that he seemed to be okay when he came home the night before. We know he wasn't feeling well for a few days which we thought was allergies. We know that he took Nyquil at around 2:30am. He slept all day. I was in and out all day but heard him snoring most of time when I was here. When I realized that I did not hear snoring, I went in to check on him and he wasn't breathing. The paramedics tried but could not bring him back. He is gone. I had to make all his final arrangements. I have been in a daze and a state of shock and I still am. Family has been by my side and have been my backbone. I just realized today that it has been two weeks. It seems like it was only yesterday. I am in a daze. I don't know if I will ever come out of this daze. I am trying to cope for my other two children. But I am devastated with a big, huge hole in my heart and stomach. I don't know how I will get through this. It seems impossible. I have tried to check in with the Naranon online group a couple of times. Its just hard to focus. But I know that I will need to continue to gather support from this forum and Naranon. My son has battled this addiction for 6 years, but only recently did I seek out support. There is some reason that I was guided by my higher power to join this forum as well as Naranon only a week before my son's death. The same higher power that brought him home to me only a week before he died.
One reason why I felt that I had to come on this forum to notify you all is because I felt the need to give you all a message. This is SO important...
Please, please, please, hug your ALO and let them know you love them. Even while practicing detachment, it is important to let them know that you love them. Do it today and every day. Because you just don't know if you will have the chance tomorrow.
Claudia (Donny's mom forever)