recovery I think - part ?
I appreciate you guys (gals). I was using Norco, but have used about everything. I decided I didn't want anything stronger. They had me on oxys, dilaudid, opana, methadone, fentynal, and I don't know what else. Nothing helped the pain. It's too deep in the bone. After cutting grass for a few hours today, by back is on fire, but I don't even think about using again. Life is too good without it. Using I couldn't go to the bathroom without help, no sex, cravings, etc. All that is gone. And I can have sex again...WOOHOO! I know it's no big deal to the women (JK!), but it's great to have things working again. So I compare then and now. It makes not using sooo much better. I guess that's what I don't understand about relapse. I have no desire to go back. Who wants to do enemas every day. I know, TMI. But that was my life. My wife wanted no part of me. It was all bad. I can't say, "Oh it was so great getting high," because I didn't get high, just numb. As it's been said, we all handle this stuff different. I feel I've also dispelled the notion that once an addict, always an addict. I never considered myself to be one, just couldn't stop on my own. Now that I have, I'm done. My detox experience was horrible, but it saved my life. Once I get some more energy, I have projects to get back to. Want to ride my motorcycle before summer, so I have to get it running. Got a laundry list...just need the energy.
But NO pain meds thank you!
Thanks you guys!