Thank you Dee for that message. I _Need_ to hear those kinds of things over and over (my skull is rather thick :-). I cannot count the number of "self help" books I've read (always when 100% sober) on this topic, and they always motivate me... Until I finish the last page. Sigh, going to take everything I read here to heart and get out of this absurd, drama filled cycle. Middle of next month, my wife and I are taking a 2 week cruise with a couple of other good friends. When my wife is around me, it's almost casual not to drink. Due to yearly health issues (my wife spent 2 years in a wheel chair half paralyzed due to a doctors error, at least she can walk now), this will be our first vacation away anywhere since 2005! There will of course be alcohol on the boat but I will be with 3 other people 24x7 who don't drink.
Again tho Dee (and all the others who replied here), thanks for your words and support, both are greatly appreciated!
...Mike