You know Dave, when I read posts like yours I remember how I was when I came to AA. Didn't know any higher power but me and my fellow man and didn't want to know any. I used to listen to guys like in the recording and think he's really smart until I tried to stop drinking and couldn't. Time after time I tried to stop just like in the 3rd chapter in the Big Book. I used most of those methods and some I drempt up and nothing worked. I came to AA and my first sponsor told me to go stand in front of a mirror and if after a few minutes looking into the mirror, I couldn't reach the conclusion that there had to be something more powerful than what I was looking at, I was sicker than we thought. Jerry said just try asking something, anything to help you stop drinking. So, I tried it for one day and I didn't drink. So, I tried it for a few days and I didn't drink. So here I am over 12,400 days and I still haven't taken a drink. I had to face the fact that there are some things that just can't be explained so that man can understand and whether or not there's a God is one of those things. Bottom line is I'm a lot happier, more free and more at peace with myself than I've ever been just because I decided to believe there has to be a "supernatural" being I choose to call God who's in charge and if I just attempt to follow His instructions no matter how feeble my attempt may be on any given day, the question of whether there is or isn't doesn't matter any more. I just believe there is. The sooner you believe the happier, more free and more at peace you'll be. I promise. JUST GIVE UP.