Been there, done that. Over and over my friend! 11 years worth. I might as well of been in prison. The only thing that saved me was this board and AA. I was asked once what my "trigger" was. What made me turn to alcohol? Uhhhh breathing? sunshine? nighttime? I craved it constantly. I never needed a bad day, good day, holiday, superbowl...it was a constant craving. you can do this. Take an hour out from drinking and go to an AA meeting.