i really appreciate this post and the responses to it. for me, having no contact makes me realize what a crazy love addict i can be myself, because i am jonesin' for a certain kind of presence. i have to step back and think: what is going on here?
in a chat room recently someone mentioned that in some of some of the alcoholic rooms it is sometimes said that "alcoholics don't have relationships, they take hostages." ouch! whether or not you agree, or find it too sweeping, or something, it really gave me a different perspective. under that light, some behaviors that seemed to me before only positive and loving seem (even unconsciously) manipulative or, well, just not really about me at all. just considering that idea really diminishes my craving for that contact and involvement.