I recently bought the book Codependent No More. I have been reading it and cannot put it down. The whole book is very insightful but there was one sentence in the section about Expectations that made me say WOW. It is "expecting healthy behavior from unhealthy people is futile". That was exactly what I was doing with everyone in my life. I expected unhealthy people to treat me well and they never could and I was dissapointed every time. Now, I have a choice like Leise says. I can choose to not accept that kind of behavior. If someone is treating me unhealthy its usually because THEY ARE UNHEALTHY. Its as simple as that. I use to get so many mixed messages from people when they would treat me bad. I couldn't understand why. I thought it had to be my fault. Now, its clear as glass to me. People will eventually show you who they are if you let them. Its my job to tune in and really open my eyes and ears and listen.