HI Cheeky,
this may sound like a dumb thought, but here goes anyway.
Since you are in counselling, and giving up substances (great idea, by the way), I am guessing that eventually you will be replacing those things with something, right? Maybe it is a good time to find out what healthy activities you might enjoy. Like drawing , or painting? Sometimes the hardest part is actually getting started.
How about some healthy physical activity? Biking, running, yoga?
often when we make ourselves do something , we find it does help. Especially with depression.
You are doing good, by sharing your feelings, and your thoughts, before acting on them.
hope that you find something special that surprises you.
hugs
chicory