Wow I have so many thoughts running through my mind but after reading all the advise people gave you, and then what you wrote, it just dawned on me that you are going to do whatever you want to try and fix him. You seem hell bent on the notion that somehow if you go through enough hell with him one day he will come to his senses. The thing is, is he might, but that isn't the issue, the issue is why are you living in hell and justifying it by telling yourself what a rotten life he has had? I got kicked out at 13 and had unbelievable things happen to my mind body and soul on the streets but I know scores of alky's that have. You can't save him, and by enabling him you are just helping him to continue to kill himself. Please go get help for you, and in return he may follow suit. Lead by example if he sees you getting better than just maybe he will, give it a shot. You don't have to leave him but you can't go on like this can you? Just something to think about. Peace and blessings