:ghug3
How are you doing with the HALT rule? hungry, angry, lonely, tired?
We don't have to be happy all the time....... in fact I don't know what that is lol..... happiness for me is self compassion and contentment about where I am emotionally .... a very different perspective from my self hate, self boycott, self torturing thoughts.
We can feel all the colors of the rainbow..... we are human beings.
The good news is that things change then you can really enjoy them. I realized this when a friend with $$ came back from the beach I just visited, too. I had a really good time, a very spiritual time, wonderful really.
I asked her how her trip had been like and she looked bored and replied "ah it was good.. but now I am tired.."
I thought how she is so used to going to nice places and so on, there's no magic or interest for her anymore. And I valued the fact that I've been enclosed in my room in the dark because the day I woke up early to see the sunrise in the beach with my mom it was wonderful and so special, and a beautiful sunrise and I was there totally alive and present.
I think I am rambling but hope you got the message
also you know what else, I got back to the gym and now I am too exhausted to even think.... sports have been great therapy...