Stella I think it is very hard when our dream of a normal life just disappears and we finally realize it is not going to happen. Not only are you moving away from what you thought was going to be a happy part of your life you are accepting that maybe you had a part in creating the situation because of codependency. To me, that was a reality that often made me take pause because it made me realize I had put myself where I was. But it also helped me realize I could take myself out of it.
It was lonely for me sometimes when I had to be quiet and listen to my head and what it was telling me to do--that was good for me. I think it is often hard for us to take care of ourselves and for some reason we want that warm fuzzy blanket that we think we have--but it really was never there.
For me, when I started to create my own warm fuzzy blanket of a life, the loneliness went away. When I started to take care of me I felt more empowered. It even helped me to enjoy myself and not worry when xah has the kids (also because I now know he is not drugging and drinking when he has them so I know they are safe).
I am sorry you are feeling a down today. Maybe go to a meeting to remind yourself how the changes in your life are good-even as hard as they are.
Thinking about you today and hoping you find some peace and happiness today.