Trust as a trigger
When I was a sophomore in college, I was spending an afternoon with my A dad. My dad invited me somewhere with he and his girlfriend. I declined, stating that the last time I went with them I had been yelled at by my mom for "betraying her," followed by a whole string of cuss words. I asked him to keep our conversation in confidence.
A couple weeks later, they were in divorce court settling child support for my youngest brother. My dad said my mom was abusing her children and that he would not pay child support to a mom who was abusive. For the record, she was and is not abusive.
In the end, not only did I get blamed for my dad not paying child support, but I also got blamed for my dad accusing my mom of abuse.
I told a dear friend of mine that I trust him. I'm terrified that trusting him will "backfire" on me. I've never known any different-- my trust in my A dad was broken time after time after time.
I know that my friend is not my A dad. It's not fair to reflect my issues with my dad onto my friend, but it's all that I know. Changing 20 years of "habits" is really difficult. I'm trying, and that's all that I can do.