Hi secular people,
I've been going through a lot of stressful decision stuff lately. I am trying to determine whether to stay with my current job or go with something more stable, but the more stable thing is something that involves more of a time commitment and more accountability and that is not my preference (because it would take time away from the unpaid creative endeavors that matter more to me). I would be doing this because the stability it would give is a very strong trade off: security and long-term equity building, which I currently don't have at all and won't have otherwise. Add to this mix that it may involve relocation, and then it raises the question of commitment in my relationship. I am happy with my live-in relationship, but if I am asking my boyfriend to move somewhere far with me, it raises the question of whether we want to be in a more serious commitment. And, the idea of the move is daunting in itself for all the social reasons of starting over. So, these are the factors creating the stress.
My question is, how do you all who take a secular approach to recovery deal with this type of stress? I know many believers feel they can turn things over to God, but as a nonbeliever, I'm struggling here. I know I can't control all the outcomes, and I accept that, but I find it makes me hesitant and scared to face change and make decisions. Do you find it difficult to make big decisions sober? Do you see coping with stress as part of your recovery, and use particular tools to deal with it? And if so, what are these tools?
When I was drinking, I was mostly inert. Other than when I managed to pull myself up and quit drinking during the week for a few months to get into graduate school (which also meant moving), I basically made few or no changes / big decisions during my drinking years. Lived in the same place, kept a job even though the conditions were terrible, and kept carrying on with a man who didn't care about me. So, I guess this whole "making changes" thing is relatively new for me.
The other thing I wanted to say is that I am really glad this secular connection forum exists. Sometimes, I am too impressionable, and begin to doubt myself when I feel someone is arguing that there is a correct way to achieve recovery and that it's not the way I am going about it. I don't normally feel this way but I think because of all the stress I am particularly vulnerable right now.
Let me know if you guys have any thoughts . . .
