I had an AH HA!
I was working a split shift yesterday, but there was such a lot of work to do that I stayed...all day...until I had to rush home for dinner and rush out to work and I was irritable. It meant I worked a 13 hour day. Grr...
Then it occured to me, no matter how much work there was to do, I was the one that stayed at work all day. Who was there to be irritated at? I was irritated there was so much work and I was stuck, but I was ACTUALLY irritated because I wanted to go home, but instead stayed out of an "ought to" (and thus ignored my needs).
If I can link feeling irritated with the fact that there is actually a boundary that is missing being upheld, I can do more self care! WOOHOO!!
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What kinds of responses or feelings do you get in you that help you see there are boundary issues in you that need to be addressed?