Originally Posted by
Maryjan 
Yes, Muir Woods is one of the most magical places, I think. And all of this area used to look like that...the majestic trees... And I am having such a great time being on vacation with my kids. You guys have such wonderful advice, so I hope you don't mind if I ask for some wisdom: I am finding myself obsessing about my husband's drinking. Now that I'm sober, it really rubs me the wrong way. I don't know if he has a problem...he's likely borderline....drinks a bit too much, but never harms anyone. I am just so sick of booze being an issue for me. I know I need to let him be, and savor how I'm doing. It's a bummer. But maybe I just always need something to worry over. Thoughts?
So proud of us all. Found a good tea for these chilly San Francisco nights: good earth spice tea. night! Mj
Hi Maryjan:
I noticed when I first quit drinking 20+ years ago, one of the ways I dealt with my sobriety was to demonize all other drinkers. I literally could not STAND to be around someone after I could see their personality/behavior shift when the ETOH hit their bloodstream. I'm not saying you are doing that with your husband, or even that it's not a good thing to do that, but that was me, then.
My husband didn't seem to view "drunks" the way I did, but for me it was a survival technique. Maybe putting "drunks" and "me" into two different categories.
The disdain faded over time, and I still don't like being around people in "altered states," mostly because I no longer think that is necessary or desirable to be in that condition. I think of how I must have looked and sounded when I was drinking, not realizing I looked like "a drunk" to other people.
Just some thoughts. I hope that your husband, by seeing how much positive there is in you since you stopped drinking, will consider his own alcohol as maybe not such a good idea.