Originally Posted by FindingPeace1

I don't think my AH does it on purpose. It is all to protect his identity to himself and to me.
He insisted for months that when I confronted him about his drinking that I "character bashed" him and told him I hated everything about him and yelled at him (I did not yell, although I was upset. I think it was the most careful I have ever been in talking to him. I spoke very calmly.) He insisted for months he didn't yell in response. (uhh...what?)
Last night, he insisted that he consistently has admitted that he was "emotionally fused" and acted inappropriately.

He "forgot" in the therapist's office that he walked out after I confronted him.
I had to say, "Don't you remember packing your bag and saying, "If that's how you feel, then it's over" and leaving for 2 days?"
"Uhh, yah. I guess so," was his response.
Just last night, he angrily denied that he "forgot" at the therapist.

I found a big box of alcohol. He said he didn't remember the box. Later, he said he hid alcohol to appease me, then later said he's never hidden alcohol.
Last night he denied his story had ever changed.

His initial response to my confronting him was to say, "it's not a big deal" and "I did nothing wrong". Now (over a year later) he is saying he acknowledges that it was dysfuctional and he behaved inappropriately.
He has insisted he feels he has been "very consistent" in acknowledging his responsibility.

He complains that the REAL problem is that I waited and got super upset and then "dropped a bomb" on him.
When I say, "What about all the times I brought it up casually and you dismissed it or got defensive?"
He doesn't remember those times, or gets angry and says that's not true.

He says I have demonized him. That I am looking for an excuse to get out. That I falsify the truth. That I misremember. That I twist his words. That I take them out of context.

I have taken to saying, "I can only believe one version of reality and if the choice is me or you, I have to choose me."