Here are my thoughts on the steps.....
1. What do meetings mean to you? Are you afraid or embarrassed to go? If you have gone, how have they helped you?
I love going to the Alanon meetings. I now attend two meetings a week and I may need more. It took my about two months of attending my first meeting to feel comfortable about being there and to feel a part of the group. That was because of me feeling ackward, not because they didn't try to make me feel welcome. They help me by putting me face to face with people that have simular struggles as I do. This is so important for me because I tend to think that only I have these problems, or problems at all for that matter. I hear hope that others have improved their life and I feel that maybe I can too. I see people committed to growing the same way I am and this gives me strength.
My second group is very differant from my forst group and I am still getting used to it. But I am hanging in there becuase I know that both groups can give me something I need.
2. What does "working the steps" mean to you. How have they helped you in your recovery? What confuses you about the steps?
I am just a beginner in working the steps. I have been reading Melody Beattie's "Codependant's guide to the twelve steps" and trying to understand how they relate to me. Just today, I started a new practice where I review and meditate on the steps each morning.
3. How did you find your sponsor? or What do you want to know about sponsorship?
I don't have a sponser yet. I have been afraid to ask someone, because I will appear too needy. I am working on this fear and will overcome it soon I think. I know I need one.
4. What work are you prepared to do to move forward in your recovery? And What holds you back?
I am prepared to to more each week for my recovery. I have added a second meeting and started to spend more time on reading, meditating etc. I know this is the answer, and each week I feel myself open up a little more to the message and become more willing to spend more effort.
Thanks Ann for the opportunity to do this self reflection.