Originally Posted by
Shellcrusher 
There's been too much sugar coating going in this world and it's been hidden behind the word, manners.
Naw. If people had manners they'd tell the bloody truth up front instead of this BS clandestine wordsmithing manipulation which has done nothing but blur the lines of understanding since it's inception.
Do I sound fired up about it? Deal with it.
This made me laugh, while at the same time nodding my head and saying "hmmmmm" on the manners thing. See, I wasn't rude to my colleague when she told me I would be responsible for $100,000 in overspent grant funds because my predecessor made some errors (yeah right). I wasn't rude to my sister when I calmly stated I don't need "emotional support" from her right now as I find that in Al-Anon and SR where people can relate completely to my life. I haven't been rude to the kids but have been firm on boundaries and behavior expectations. Haven't even talked to the RAH in a couple days.
The difference here? Before I would have been responding differently to all of them. I am now direct and honest, while maintaining a sense of consideration (i.e. not rude). I don't assume to know what other people need or want, I ask. And I respect the answer I get. I don't believe others need my support unless they ask. And if they offer me theirs and I don't need it, I say thank you, no. I don't stick around and let people act badly toward me. I leave the room, house, office, whatever. Just walk away...
And the people in my life aren't liking this much! I see it now - thanks all. It is a confusing time because I am changing and that must be confusing to everyone else who is so used to me doing whatever so nobody is displeased. When did I turn into such a doormat and how did I not know I was doing that to begin with???!!!