Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy 
The T I take D5 to said last week that wherever the girls are (our home or my moms) it should be stable (as in no back and forth). I don't want to go home and then find it's a nightmare and leave again.
Then I would stay put.
I totally get where you are coming from. I waffled on getting my xah to move out, and then we lived together waiting for him to pull something together and it was a terrible experience. In the long run it did psychological damage to the kids and made things worse. I had to make him leave because I had no where else to go and no money to rent anything plus pay for the house that was in my name.
We divorced and sold the house. I could have bought him out but it would have left me to strapped for cash and like you - my dream house had turned into a lie and broken memory in every corner.
When we did move to a new house my 3yo's cried for a long time asking to go back home. They definitely wanted things to go back to the way it was before. They wanted no part of all the changes. It was heartbreaking
but we just have to keep moving forward making the best decisions we can in the long run. We can make decisions based on the 'long run' and they only have today. That doesn't make it less heartbreaking but framing it like that gave me the conviction to do what I thought was best in the big picture.