this is all normal...
...people really struggle when somebody changes. Some of the relationships you have now will become better over time as they adjust to the new you, and some will not survive the change.
However, and this is exciting, new relationships will start off on the right foot with the right "rules" so to speak.
To your kids, after years of my enabling and controlling her my daughter really, really, really struggled with me changing that. I had left her almost unable to make a decision on her own, but also expecting me to do things for her. Even worse, she attached "love" to me doing and controlling these things, so when I stopped she was scared I didn't love her anymore. She doesn't completely understand this, but I know it when I see it, so just tell her some form of "I love you but you have to do this yourself," or, "I love you but the answer is no."
We are still struggling with this, but I truly believe as painful as this is for her it is what is best. She is learning to do things on her own, learning to take responsibility for herself and her actions and learning that if she doesn't do things they just won't happen (I'm fairly certain she hates me right now).
I'm learning that she can do damn near everything I used to do for her, and that she does it just fine. I'm learning to let her sI'm also learning to let her fail. That's hard.
I just keep telling her I love her, keep trying to support appropriately (doing what she can't, but not what she can), and go from there.
It isn't easy, but I truly believe it's better than before.
Take care,
Cyranoak