Thanks again to everyone who posted here. I so appreciate it.
Well, since February 14th since I not talked to my mother. An entire month!
I did call her on Valentine's Day, since Dad passed away three years ago, I know it's been a challenging day for her. But once I realized she wasn't really listening and was watching tv while fake talking with me, I got off the phone.
The last thing she mentioned was about how she knows that the man I was dating during the time that my first book was published 23 years ago must have had a lot to do with its publication. What? Nope, mom, actually, I am that talented. A publishing house actually wanted to and did publish my book because it was a good book. I wrote a good book. In the moment I didn't respond (other than to tell her she was mistaken) as I know from experience my response makes no difference. She will always have her own ideas about me which have nothing to do with the real me. That was hurtful, though. That's when I realized, again, that I am done.
I will admit, it does feel weird. It feels different, but NOT bad. In fact, I have a lot more energy for my own life and family than I did when I was constantly thinking about her finances, her house, her health, etc. I was able to get clear about a few things. For example, I DO think her prescription narcotic use is definitely problem (she's an A). It's a problem for me, maybe not for her, but for me. I'm also okay if my sister and brother don't contact me (they haven't). I'm okay in every way about any family-of-origin scenario I can think of. If the price of freedom is my brother, sister, and mom, well, I'm okay with that. I've expanded my teaching schedule, been eating well, exercising, taking dance class again, doing things with my family. Enjoying being alive.
And, when I have the thought, "I should probably call my mom," I think about how the phone works two ways. Email works two ways. The truth is that she hasn't contacted me, either. This helps me, actually, to navigate the grief I initially felt. She really isn't going to be able to have a normal Mother/Daughter relationship with me. I've tried my entire life to make that work, but, again, it takes two to have any kind of relationship, doesn't it. :-)