My XAH recently decided that he did not want to keep the three kittens that he had adopted. When I asked him why he said, "I just can't handle the stress." I don't know how to explain it but that is exactly how I feel about him in my life. I can't handle the stress. And maybe I needed to hear it from his lips.
Long story short I took the three kitties and don't know how I ever lived without them. It helped me to understand that he and I view things very differently. Yes, they require some work but the rewards are far more. What he saw as stress I see as wonderful. In a strange way it helped me to reach another level of detachment from him.