CatWings- keep working on allowing yourself to believe in the higher power. Eventually in your journey you will find Him/Her/It if you continue to actively seek Him/Her/It out. (So many pronouns...)
I love the third step. In my years practicing my chosen religion I was always told to ask God to take all our burdens, to ask him to lead you in his path and do his will and I was also told that he would never tempt me beyond what I could handle.
It never happened.
I was constantly cornered into temptation and I was burdened down far beyond my capacity with worldly ****. Going through AA gave me a new outlook on these ideas. I mentioned three things: Give God your burdens, Ask for His will to be done and the promise that He will not allow too much temptation. I just realized that if you all God's Will + Trusting God with your burdens = Life being MUCH easier temptation wise. It's brilliant! I feel empowered and I feel like God is really on my side.
God, I offer myself to Thee-
To build with me
and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy Power,
Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!