Welcome to a great place, mel - you'll find lots of people here just like you, with the same thoughts. That was the best thing for me - knowing I was no longer alone, and never had to be again. At all hours of day or night, there's someone here who will understand what you're going through.
I used alcohol for sleep, but also to not feel nervous or anxious, to numb the pain of life in general. It was the most terrible and destructive "solution" I could have ever found. I hope you can get to the bottom of your sleep problems. Congratulations on wanting a better and healthier life.