Tic21,
This is such a key piece of what I am going through right now with my AH!
I just got finished posting "wrong thinking".
I am getting ready to leave my relationship soon, after 11 years, and after giving up all control over my life, so that I will be starting over with nothing!
If yours is anything like mine, then the only opinion that will ever matter to him, is the one that works for him!
Now you say he's recovering. Is he also in some kind of therapy that could help him unlearn some of his wrong thinking?
I hope this helps. Your opinion always matters! You matter!